Hello you wonderful people,
so being new to this whole single world again… I’m confused… Like very confused :D
I like being honest. I like honest real conversations and I don’t like to beat around the bush. And one would think through all these channels we have nowadays, instagram, snapchat, facebook, whatsapp, etc. it would be easier and faster to get to know someone and also easier and faster to show someone that we like them….
But actually it feels like these things are encouraging us to play games, actually preventing us from being honest, showing our intentions and our true self… I was at a party the other night, and a guy friend of mine told me that he was about to go on a Tinder Date with this amazing woman (Tinder is the next thing that can be really overwhelming for a newly single but I might come to that at some other point in time) – so I asked him do you have a picture of her? And he replied “ Yes but I cannot show you right now, because she just texted me and I don’t want to klick on the message right now cause then she will see that I read it and then I have to reply so I’m acting like I haven’t seen it yet… I also don’t want her to think I’m only on my phone so I’m just gonna let it sit for a minute“.. I was dazzled… And then I started thinking about it, when someone I like texts me my friends tell me to „Don’t read it right away… Play it cool… Wait like 30 min before you read it and don’t reply right away, you have to act like you don’t care“ and I hate it!! Or I talked to a friend today and she told me „ahhhhh my crush finally texted me today“ and we were both really happy and excited for her and I was like „ahhhh so what did you answer?! Did you tell him, that you’re happy he texted?“ and she went „Nooooo!!! I haven’t replied yet, I mean I have to play it cool right?!“ – WHY DO WE HAVE TO PLAY IT SO FUCKING COOL?!
I hate it!! And the worst thing is sometimes I even play along with it…But I honestly hate not being able to show my excitement about the person I like texting me, I hate that I have to make myself mysterious for the male population of chasers to get their hunting instinct going and make them interested in me… Do I really have to act like I don’t care about you for you to like me?! Do we really not appreciate real interest in one another anymore? Are we really all into these stupid games? Playing it cool, only watching half the stories, not liking pictures because he/she might think we’re obsessed or all these other stupid rules…
If I like someone I want to be able to show them, I am even the type of person that would just like to text „Hey I like you, do you want to grab a coffee sometime?“ this doesn’t mean I want to marry you, it just means I find you interesting and I would really like to get to know you.. Nothing to be afraid off, I promise!!! And if you’re not interested I will survive that as well ;) Just have the decency to be honest and tell me that.
When I talk to my friends about this, it seems like all of us just want the same thing, no stupid illusion of what could be or somebody telling us what we would like to hear – we all just want honesty!! If what you’re saying is good or bad doesn’t really matter, as long as it is honest we will be able to handle it!!
But somehow through this overflow of communication I feel like we completely lost the way to honestly communicate with each other, we don’t want to show our emotions because we have to play it cool for the other party to be interested in us and I feel if we would actually talk to each other face to face we wouldn’t be able to play it cool like that.. Because communication is so much more than a text, or a like, it is the actual body language, the way someone looks at you, the way they smile at you, when you see their first and foremost emotion driven reaction before they can hide behind a „mask“ of coolness again and it’s basically just every part of how you can communicate. I feel like everything would be a lot more honest if we all couldn’t hide behind our screens and instagram pictures and just went out for a cup of coffee and actually communicated…
So here’s to not judging, and being open for real and honest conversations !
♥ Kathrin Luisa